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Is it like an allowance?

Posted on by Tori

Parents, what do you think?

Check out this article I read today, which says that several schools in D.C. have set aside $2.7 million as a motivational tactic for student achievement. Yup, they want to pay kids to come to class.

 I don’t know about you, but I was never one of those students who was rewarded for getting high grades. I was told to work for them, expect them, and then be proud of what was written on my report card. Seeing that A or B was enough for me.

Are things so different today? Do our students really lack that much motivation to attend class (and be on time)? Send us your comments, parents. Should schools be paying students to attend class or not? Is this a brilliant example of “thinking outside the box”, or is it just… crazy?

Redefine Quality Time

Posted on by Tori

Hello Parents.

As I began thinking about a new post for this week, I noticed that of the ten facts cited last week from FamilyFacts.org, mothers were mentioned specifically 4 times, and fathers only once. You are important, dads; sorry if we made you feel overlooked. Here’s something to prove it.

And lest our readers feel they are being insulted for not spending enough time with their kids, let me encourage you. We at W4YM know you are doing the best that you can. We simply want to encourage you to keep at it. Simple things and moments matter.

Case in point: One of my favorite memories with my father is of a shopping trip we took to a local discount warehouse. I was 13. My parents had divorced, and I was spending a Saturday with my father. He had some grocery shopping to do. So, we hopped in the car, ran to a local grocery store and bought green apples, peanuts, and Cokes. Munching our goodies en route, we drove on to the warehouse, where we spent the afternoon eating every possible sample offered us (trying for seconds and thirds when we could!), and eyeing all the fun toys and silly gadgets we couldn’t rationalize buying. My dad talked with me, laughed at my jokes, and bought me a candy bar before we left the store. Maybe there was something in the chocolate but, almost 20 years later, I can still pinpoint that day in my mind.

And I am not so old that I think a 13-year-old today wouldn’t enjoy something similar. Don’t think you have to do something amazing to entertain them. Like my dad did, grab a snack, take those moments, and make them count.

Parents, Talk, & TV

Posted on by Tori

I received this information from a friend who receives information from The Heritage Foundation. The study below will link you to another site called www.familyfacts.org. Check it out for real, scientific, up-to-date information on youth culture.

Parents & Teen Sex

1. Delayed sexual behavior. Youths who report higher quality relationships with their mothers and who feel their mothers highly disapprove of their having sex are more likely to delay sexual activity. full details 

2. Reduction in teen pregnancy. Adolescent girls who feel that their mothers highly disapprove of their having sex and say that they had a very good relationship with their mothers are less likely than other peers to become pregnant. full details

3. Reduction in number of sexual partners.  On average, youths who feel that their mothers hold more liberal views on teen sexual activity have more sexual partners than peers who believe their mothers hold less liberal views on teen sex. full details

4. Youth sexual activity.  Teen girls who say they have a close relationship with their fathers are less likely to become sexually active. full details

5. Youth abstinence.  Adolescents whose parents discuss what is right and wrong in sexual behavior are more likely to remain abstinent than peers who do not have such talks with their parents.  full details  

6. Parent/child discussions.  In spite of peers’ behavior that would encourage sexual activity, adolescents who engage in discussions with their parents about sex are less likely to be sexually active or have fewer partners than youth who do not have such talks with their parents. full details  

7. Delayed sexual behavior. Adolescent girls whose mothers communicate with their friends’ parents tend to become sexually active at a later age. full details

8. Risky behavior.  Teens who are closely monitored by their parents are less likely to take risks regarding sexual behavior. full details  

9. Parental rules.  Adolescents whose parents set clear rules are less likely to have had sexual intercourse than peers whose parents did not. full details 

10. Setting limits.  Teens whose parents set limits on their television viewing or watch television with them are less likely to initiate sexual activity. full details

What Memories Are Made Of

Posted on by Tori

A few days after reading & posting about The Primal Teen, I found this interesting article about the chemicals the brain uses to make memories. You can check out the full article here, but here’s a quote that sums up what researchers found:

“University of Virginia psychologists have moved the science of memory forward, reporting that stimulating the vagus nerve, which carries sensory messages to and from the brain, releases the nuerotransmitter norepinephrine in to the amygdala, strengthening memory storagein limbic regions of the brain that regulate arousal, memory, and feeling responses to emotionally laden stimuli (emphasis mine).”

Then today I stumbled upon an article in USA Today about children as young as ten watching R-rated movies (Bride of Chuckie and Blade topping the list), and another article about the Teen Choice Awards, (the super-sexy show Gossip Girl won big). I thought about what I had read about memory making, and I began to wonder.

Parents, do you remember what it felt like to be a kid watching a scary movie? Did your heart pound? Do you remember being allowed to watch a steamy scene on TV? Did your pulse race? It’s very likely that during that time, your adrenaline was pumping, and norepinephrine was being released into your brain. That’s why you remember it.

We all know that TV today is laden with sexual imagery and violence. But do we know how much? Are we really sure we know what our teens are watching? And have we considered the effect it may have on them long-term?

It’s something to think about.

Beer Pong

Posted on by Tori

Heard of it? It’s a popular drinking game for teens today. And considering that many teens manage to snag their alcohol from a willing adult, the game is an easy one to play. Read this article and click on the video clip off to the right side of the screen to learn more about the game and the risks of binge drinking.

We’ve known for a long time that underage drinking leads to big problems. One study from CASA (2004) states, “Teens 15 and older who use alcohol are seven times as likely to have sexual intercourse (than non-drinking peers)…”  Research from SADD adds to the list, telling us that almost 25% of teens who are sexually active used alcohol the last time they had sex.

Parents, please don’t think your kids aren’t involved. They could be. And even if they aren’t, chances are they feel the pressure to “join the fun”. What messages are we sending our teens about alcohol?

Bridge the Gap

Posted on by Tori

I’ve been thinking about goals a lot, lately.  I found out the other day that my 18 year old cousin, a very intelligent, hardworking kid, has decided to take a “gap year” before college. He’s going to South Africa to work with orphan baboons. Yup. You read that right. His choice is actually listed as one of the Top 10 Most Unusual Gap Year Programs. Go figure.

At W4YM, in an effort to encourage teens to take their focus off the pressures about sex, and that “everybody’s doing it” mentality, we try to encourage students to pursue goals they set for themselves – academically, relationally, or experientially. We know that helping them set and reach goals refocuses them, and encourages the discipline of delayed gratification, which may ultimately help them save sex for marriage.

Perhaps you parents, or some of you teachers out there, know of a teen who is a little lost in the “future goals” area. He’s not sure what kind of degree he wants, she’s not sure if she’s even ready for college right now. Maybe a gap year or a 2-year degree is what your teen needs.

Sexting

Posted on by Tori

Definition: Much like cybersex, but over a cell phone. Sending nude or sexual photos via text-messaging.

 Don’t believe it? Do. I had never heard of it until today, when I found the term on two separate websites (www.onteenstoday.com, and www.cpyu.org). CPYU linked up to a truly shocking article in the Hartford Advocate. Read it here* (and be prepared). (NOTE: the original link is now gone, but here is a new article on the topic.)

Another article I read today cited that on average, kids are sending 50-70 text messages per day.

Now, obviously, not all your children’s text messages will be inappropriate. Many kids probably know that sexting isn’t all that smart of an idea (note Sarah’s comment in the article). And knowing this doesn’t mean that you should throw your kids’ cell phones in the trash.

But parents, it’s a good idea to talk to your kids about sexting, and the instantaneous consequences that result. Check their phones every once in a while to see what’s in them. You have the right to invade their privacy just a little bit.  It’s for their own good.

*Please note that the article is used purely as reference and does not reflect the opinions of W4YM.

Baby Mama

Posted on by Tori

(The following post has been adapted from a blog I like to visit: http://learningmylines.blogspot.com/.  Feel free to check it out.)

I was visiting a favorite blog today and (aside from being reminded of those, “What’s Wrong With This Picture?” games I used to play as a kid) found out that Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby and has become a new mom. She’s pictured on the front of OK! magazine, a glowing picture of health and happiness.  See?

 Now, I have nothing against this girl. Honestly. However, I don’t know about you, parents, but this image bothers me. I confess I haven’t read the article, but look at the headline! How are we supposed to teach teens abstinence when this is what they see?

 I encourage you to show this magazine to your teens and dialogue with them about the message it’s sending. What’s positive about this situation? (There are positive aspects to this story, certainly.) What’s negative? What do your teens think about what they see? What is communicated as right or wrong about this situation? How does Jamie Lynn’s experience line up with the experiences they’ve known?

If a good conversation results, try talking like this more often with your teen. It will be good for you both, and may help them swim against the cultural tide.

Crazy By Design

Posted on by Tori

Looking for a good summer read? Check out the book, The Primal Teen, by Barbara Strauch. If you’ve ever wondered what was going on inside your teenager’s head (literally), you’ll find some answers here. A mother of two teens, Strauch became interested in adolescent brain research. Her witty, informational, and very straightforward writing style gives her readers a medical look inside the teenager’s brain to see how it works – and is still developing. What she learned may give you some peace of mind.