Imagine your pre-teen or teen coming across these games: “Candy the Naughty Cheerleader, Bloody Day (“Back alley butchering has never been so much fun. . . . How many kills can you rack?”) and the Perry the Sneak series, where gamers take the role of a peeping Tom trying to catch revealing glimpses of scantily clad and naked women.” These are all games on addictinggames.com, which youth can link to from Nickelodeon’s websites, Nick.com and NickJr.com. A report by A Campaign For a Commercial-Free Childhood reported that some of the games (for example, Vanessa Naughty Pics and Whack Your Ex) were pulled after a feature on Good Morning America alerted parents, but I took a quick look, and many offensive games remain. Sigh…and we parents thought we could relax and at least trust Nickelodeon.
Remember Seventeen magazine?
At a recent parent workshop, I brought up how important it is to know what our teens are reading, listening to, and watching. I commented that top-selling Seventeen Magazine isn’t the same as when WE read it as teens. A woman in the audience who is raising a 15-year old granddaughter said, “Oh no…I just bought a 3-year subscription!” I suggested these possible courses of action: 1) cancel the subscription, explain why, and promise a subscription to a less sex-saturated publication; 2) discuss with her teen the articles in the magazine that promoted or assumed sexual activity between teens; or 3) preview and remove the offending articles. A middle school teacher’s review of Seventeen on Epinions shows why Seventeen needs a second look.
It’s too bad for me that I didn’t read the reviews before I subscribed to this magazine for my classroom. Most magazines today use sex to sell but I didn’t think it would filter into such a well-known publication that has for years been read and loved by teens; but it has. In fact, this magazine has so many sex related articles that I have yanked it from my rack and toss it away monthly….That’s too bad too, because some of the material in the magazine is just what it should be, fashion and light articles that teen girls like to read. When the boys in class seemed to be the first to grab and read it I should have been clued in but it wasn’t until one of my more responsible students brought up the copy about blow jobs (not even called felatio) and said they didn’t think this magazine was a very good one for them to be able to read, that I began checking it out and decided that it probably wasn’t a good magazine for them to be reading or for me to be subscribing to. Since its title is, “Seventeen,” I assumed that it would be appropriate for girls in the teen range. It used to be one of the publications that the school library carried. I have since checked with my librarian and she said she stopped subscriptions to it last year.
A Hand Up
“I told him I wanted him to make the decision himself not to go there,” a parent told me recently after she’d caught her son looking at porn online. But then she added (perhaps those parental instincts kicking in)… “But is that expecting too much? Should I get blocking software?” In a word, yes. It’s that age-old dilemma: When do we as a parent step in…and when do we let them decide, knowing that part of choosing means making mistakes? After reading “Wired for Intimacy” by William Struthers, I’d say this is one of those times we need to give the poor guy a hand up. And hey, girls can be affected by pornography too…so let’s not make it harder for them than it needs to be. What we open the door to in our homes IS something we can control.
Safety Mode
As parent, I have been concerned for some time about some of the material that teens can find on YouTube; postings with sex, nudity, pornographic images and violence just to name a few.
I am so thankful to learn that YouTube now has a parental control that enables parents to block their children from viewing such videos; this feature is called Safety Mode.
Go to this link to read all about it.
Source: CBS Early Show.com
Mugs in the News
As a self –defense instructor, father and an educator to our youth, I like to keep up on what’s happening in my own back yard. So after reading a couple recent news stories in our local paper ( really it was on the web, does anyone read newspapers anymore? ) regarding sex offenders in our area, I felt like sharing this link with you. It will help keep you aware of what’s going on in your community. Check out the left side on the page and look at ” Mugs in the News”.
House Rules 2
Picking up where we left off a week ago. Here are some suggested “house rules” you may wan tot consider.
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Set an age for dating such as “No dating in the pre-teen and early teen years.” And ask your son or daughter what dating means to him or her. It can mean different things to different young people at different ages. Plus, it’s a good way to start a conversation.
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Discuss your concerns with them dating someone more than two years older or younger than he or she is.
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Research by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy shows that 13 percent of youth aged 14 and under in a same age relationship have had sexual intercourse. But when a pre-teen or teen of this age has a relationship with somebody who is 2 years older, 26 percent of the time it involves sexual intercourse. If the relationship is with somebody 3 years older, 33 percent of the time it involves sexual intercourse.
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Tell your teen that boyfriends or girlfriends are welcome in family living areas and can be entertained there. Discourage personal space entertainment. “First sex” often happens at home in an unsupervised area of the house.
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Set clear guidelines for your child when he or she goes out: Where will you be? What will you be doing? Who will you be with? When will you be home? How can I reach you?
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Don’t let your child spend lots of time doing things that are not supervised or monitored by adults. Encourage your child to take part in supervised group activities. After-school jobs, tutoring, volunteer activities, and sports help make sure your child is doing something safe and useful after school.
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Set rules about what your son or daughter can and cannot watch, listen to, or read; about what video games they can play; and where they can go on the Internet. Do not put a television or a computer in your child’s bedroom. These should be out in the open, like in the living room. That way you can know what your child is watching or doing on the Internet.
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Let your son or daughter know that you will come get them if they get into an uncomfortable or threatening situation.
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No alcohol. No drugs. No tobacco.
You may consider printing off your rules and posting them where everyone can see. This way there is no misunderstandings about what is acceptable behavior and what is disobedience.
Dress for success!
Hey parents! Have you ever found yourself saying (or thinking) “You are NOT wearing that out of this house!”? We found this article (http://www.homeword.com/FreeAdvice/FreeAdviceDetail.aspx?iFreeAdviceId=2) with some helpful advice about fighting battles over fashion.
As a relatively recent teenager, let me encourage you in your role as a parent: you CAN have a say in what your teen wears! Teenagers are still learning right from wrong, good idea from bad idea, but they shouldn’t have to learn it all the hard way. Yes, clothing may seem insignificant compared to issues of drugs, alcohol, violence, depression, or sex – but your guidance is just as valuable in the small things as it is in the big things. If your teenager’s clothing is screaming a message that they will one day regret, find a way to tell them that, even if it means setting up rules or guidelines. Your teenager may start looking like an adult, but they probably aren’t thinking like one yet, so don’t give up your role as “parent” too soon!
Mixed Messages
Trying to protect our kids is always a main concern for a parent. We want to keep them safe in all aspects of their lives. So when it comes to the media, this can be tough. Our kids are exposed to all kinds of messages: billboards, music, TV, movies…..the list can go on and on.
With the recent release of the “Twilight” sequel, I want parents to have a heads up to what their child may be watching. To be equipped with the right tools for the job. Now without seeing the movie I don’t have an opinion on it, but I have heard there is some confusing messages in it. This is always a great opportunity to talk with your child about what he or she thinks and feels. These are a few good sites to visit and receive info and reviews on the stuff our kids are into. If you are not watching what they are, you can get the facts about it. Check it out!
http://www.commonsensemedia.org
Balancing Time
Are idle hands the devil’s tool, or is keeping busy becoming an obstacle to your child’s personal development? These days our children seemed to be grouped in two categories; the over committed students who are involved in every sport and extracurricular activity offered in a 50 mile radius, and the typical student who comes home and vegges on TV and the internet who occasionally peeks their head out to eat or briefly interact with other members of the household when forced. In the midst of all this, whether your child is involved in what is perceived as constructive or wasteful is there enough time being devoted to what truly matters? Do kids get enough time with their parents? Is there enough time devoted to relationship building in the home amongst family?
What are we watching?
So the question today is this: Do you believe TV programming is becoming more inappropriate for teens and tweens? Shows on MTV like Real World and The Hills or the reality shows on VH1 like Rock of Love and Charm School…is this too much? Even for those who don’t allow their children to watch these stations, what about CW with the return of 90210 and Melrose, or shows like Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, The Beautiful Life and Vampire Diaries. Is programming to mature? Are these shows introducing topics and life perspectives that are too mature? Are these issues and topics being introduced inappropriately? What do you think?