I was one of those strict parents that blocked MTV on our home’s cable rather than have my girls inundated with what I considered too much raunchy and course behavior. Those weren’t our family values. I also used to think if I just didn’t have R movies on that was a good rule of thumb, but quickly realized I had to read the reviews even for PG-13 movies. At least we can trust a PG rating, right? Now, the Parents Television Council reveals that TV shows with pixilated and blurred nudity (which doesn’t leave much to the imagination) are increasingly being rated as acceptable for children, with 70% of these shows being TV-PG rated. Says PTC President Tim Winter, “Our findings are also alarming because if this kind of nudity continues to increase – as we believe it will – and the FCC’s proposal to essentially stop enforcing the broadcast indecency law goes into effect, then it’s certain that the networks will continue to push the limits of decency even further.”
Top Teen Shows to Know About
I spent almost two hours trying to figure out what the top shows are that teens are watching….without success. If school weren’t out, I could have asked them themselves!
After seeing certain shows pop up a lot, I went to Commonsense Media’s website to read descriptions of the shows. I can recommend the site for that purpose, but honestly I didn’t agree with their age recommendations for shows. In my book, certain shows should not be allowed to embed their values in ANY young person’s mind. I wouldn’t watch some of them as an adult!
Here are 3 shows teens seem to think are hot…and a quote from the website:
Pretty Little Liars – “[Teens] engage in lots of naughty behavior like theft, defying parents’ rules, breaking and entering, and general cattiness.” “Teen sexuality — including a main character’s homosexuality and a teen’s love affair with her high-school teacher — makes for some intense physical encounters that stop just before the act itself (although it’s referenced later).”
Awkward – “Parents need to know that steamy simulated sex, innuendo, euphemisms (“riding his joystick,” for example), body-related slang (“hooters,” “cooch,” and “p—y”), and strong language (“s–t” and “f–k” are censored; “ass,” “bitch,” and “damn” are audible) are common fare….” “Teens engage in casual physical encounters (expect to see everything but full-on genital nudity).” “…snarky meanness from social divas.”
Teen Wolf – “violence is it’s main concern” and “Teen relationships yield mostly mild physical contact.”
Parents…what are YOUR teens watching? I’d love to see comments here on the shows that make you uncomfortable, and how you handle that in your home. Do you ban any shows? Channels? Discuss shows that you watch together? Make sure the only TVs are in the family room, rather than your teen’s bedroom? You might use Commonsense Media’s search box to search the shows that you know are on at your house. Become informed, Mom and Dad. And if necessary, put your foot down if you just really don’t want your teen getting their values from certain shows,
Forming Savvy Consumers: Talking Over Ads With Your Teens
The other day, my husband was on a website that caters to those who like to keep up with NASA and the space program (yes, he’s a bit of a space geek). There, flanking the content, on both sides, were two Hooters babes. He made sure I knew that he was innocently looking at the space stuff, not the curvy young ladies! I’ve also noticed how–amazingly–my computer search engine knows what I’m interested in, and gives me targeted ads based on what I’ve recently looked at.
Our children are bombarded with messages all day long, and need to be taught to be critical thinkers and saavy consumers. I found some great questions to talk through WITH our teens when we see an ad on TV, or in a magazine, or on the internet. Even just a few sessions of doing this can train our kids not to accept every message that comes across their field of vision! The following is adapted from youth expert Walt Mueller’s CPYU website:
1. What product is this ad selling?
2. What, besides the product, does this ad sell? (ideas, lifestyle, worldview, behaviors, etc.)
3. What’s the bait, hook, and promise?
4. Complete this sentence: “This ad tells me, use________ (the name of the product) and ___________ (the result the ad promises).
5. Does the ad tell the truth? What? How?
6. Does the ad tell a lie(s)? What? How?
7. How does the ad and its messages agree or disagree with my (or our family’s) values and what does that mean for me?
Gaming. Is it Ruining Boys?
An interesting graphic (link here) reveals some startling statistics about boys and gaming, and connects the dots to conclude that gaming may be a contributor to a host of ills among boys, including lower grades, lower SAT scores, and higher dropout rates. While it’s impossible to say that gaming is a cause of these things, it’s a legitimate concern.
Why the focus on boys? For one thing, four times as many boys as girls exhibit signs of addiction to gaming. Fifty percent of boys (versus 14% of girls) admit to owning a “Mature” or “Adults Only” game. In addition, a Stanford study indicates that boys’ brains are more wired to receive rewards from gaming.
Video-game-addiction.org has a wealth of information for teens and parents (and adult gaming addicts as well), including symptoms of addiction, a list of the most addictive games, and suggestions for treatment.
Teens Empowered
Move over Lady Gaga; hello Gabby Douglas and Jordyn Wieber. As reported on E! News From London, “According to the IOC, NBC’s ratings for the London Olympics among teenage girls is a whopping 89 percent higher than those for Fox’s smash hit Glee. ‘The younger demographic has come back,’ IOC marketing director Timo Lumme said in a press conference Tuesday. ‘Teenage girl viewership is up 54 percent.'”
In an age when media role models are appallingly scarce (at least good ones), it’s heartening to know that girls have athletes to look up to. These are strong, fit, girls with character, who also have handled disappointment (in Jordyn’s case) with class and grace, and success (in Gaby’s case) with humility and thankfulness. I’ll bet, behind each young woman or young man, is a mom and/or dad who encouraged and supported their child to dream, and to achieve. Let’s remember that even if our son or daughter isn’t destined to be an all-star athlete, we can be their best cheerleaders as they move through adolescence into adulthood, becoming the people we know they can be.
Video Chat. Safe for Teens?
I can still remember being behind the times when one of my daughters began to communicate with a boy into the wee hours on the internet many years ago. I didn’t realize it was happening, and that quite a relationship had developed even before they had officially begun to date. He turned out to be a good guy, but I became much more saavy about technology after that.
The latest buzz I’m hearing from teens, is that they are increasingly using video chat with each other. A recent study showed that 37% of teens are using video chat of some kind, and 27% record and upload video. A PC Magazine online article written about this phenomenon can bring you up to speed so you are an informed parent. The article also shares some advice from ZoneAlarm [a security software vendor] that you might want to pass along to your discuss with your son or daughter: “First, any time you upload a video, mark it private and share the URL only with friends. Don’t attach too-personal information like your full name, address, or date of birth to videos. Always run up-to-date antivirus software. And avoid downloading alleged video software from unknown sites, as these can contain malware.”
Learning Foolishness via YouTube
An article by Dr. Claire McCarthy points out that YouTube “multiplies the peer effect” when it comes to learning new, and sometimes risky, behaviors from other teens. When we parents think of peer pressure we often think of the specific social group a teen belongs to, or the culture in our child’s school. That’s a mistake, according to Dr. McCarthy, who says that with the internet, peers “becomes the whole wide world.” And that makes parenting even harder for moms and dads today. Some of the things that teens can research on YouTube are downright dangerous, like the (not new) “choking” game, which she discusses in the article. Her advice is the same I’ve often given…talk to them.
TV Finds More Ways to be Explicit
If parents were looking for one more reason to limit teens’ TV watching, the Parents Television Council has found one. Their recent analysis of television shows reveals that in recent years, there has been a dramatic increase in the use of anatomically accurate words for male and female sexual body parts. Why is that a problem? It’s one more way our culture desensitizes our teens, normalizing sexual talk and actions in a highly sexualized era.
A Role Model for Our Kids’ Generation
My daughter told me today that everyone is talking (and Twittering too apparently) about a certain popular sports hero. Is he the real deal? Some cynically expect a fall, sooner or later. In a world full of heroes, most of whom have indeed fallen off their pedestals (think Tiger Woods, or Miley Cyrus), is there anyone we can point our youth to as a person of character to emulate? Tim Tebow, Denver Broncos’ star quarterback, appears to be a public figure who has the maturity and strength to be who he is, even when ridiculed. He stands pretty boldly for his values, including his commitment to abstinence. If your son (or daughter) is looking for a mature role model, steer them toward Tim Tebow, who answered a reporter’s question (see this YouTube link), “Are you saving yourself for marriage,” with a clear “Yes.” He acknowledged how “shocking” this was, but seemed to be quite comfortable in his skin, as he publicly made a stand for abstinence. May our children have the courage to make good choices, without embarrassment, like Tim Tebow.
Facebook Etiquette for Parents
I could have used the advice in this short article when navigating how to be a Facebook friend to my daughters. I’ve made a few mistakes mentioned there, like tagging my daughter in pictures, not realizing they then automatically appear in her profile. I also have had comments removed before…though I’m not entirely sure what my offense was. In my defense, I did wait for my daughter’s last boyfriend to friend ME, rather than friending him first. So parents, do you have the courage to find out what blunders you’ve already made, and how to keep in the loop by being a good Facebook friend?