Kissing…no big deal?

Posted on by Tori

There is often spirited debate among teens  when they are asked if kissing is a big deal.  The final answer is…it depends.  More girls than guys seem to think it “means something.”  And with regard to where it leads, well that seems to depend on what KIND of kissing.  Is it the kiss on the cheek at the end of a date, or the kind where you are rolling around on the sofa with lips locked and limbs entwined? It seems, according to teens, that one is a lot closer to sex than the other.

A blog by a friend, Dave McDowell, described some of the history of kissing this way:  “Up until the 18th century in Europe, everyone kissed everybody all the time–like shaking hands–but apparently it created a real problem between men and women. Still does. In 1837, an Englishman, Thomas Saverland, brought suit against Caroline Newton for biting his nose after he had jokingly tried to kiss her. The judge ruled in her favor. In Puritan New England, Boston’s Captain Kemble was forced to spend two hours in the stocks as a punishment for his “lewd and unseemly behavior” of kissing his wife in public on the Sabbath after three years at sea. My how things have changed!”

Both of my children at some point have made conscious decisions not to kiss in a dating relationship.  One of them managed to have two high school boyfriends, lasting more than 8 months each, without kissing. She had no regrets, and said that it enabled her to keep her commitment to abstinence.  To find out how kissing can affect the body, and the emotions, click here for some interesting facts.  Besides the fact that kissing causes elevated levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, this article points out new facts you might use to open up a conversation with your son or daughter.  Maybe you could start by asking them this question:  “Do your friends consider kissing a big deal?”  It might lead to an interesting conversation during which you can encourage them to consider holding off on this intimate behavior in the interest of  maintaining a clear head, an unscathed heart, and the ability to keep a relationship from going farther than planned.

A Healthy Future

Posted on by Tori

It’s official, a new year has begun. 2010 sounds so futuristic. With that I would like to introduce our new abstinence laser gun. One zap is guaranteed to keep your teen abstinent until marriage or your money back! Wow… I wish it was that simple although we do have a team of scientists working on it ( we will keep you posted!).

So going back to the basics here…. Maybe some readers are not exactly sure who we are and what we stand for. We are an abstinence only – sex and healthy relationships program. We believe that abstinence until marriage is the safest and healthiest option. Why? Well here are just a few examples.

  • Abstinence is free and available to all.
  • Abstinence is extremely effective at preventing both infection and pregnancy. It is the only 100% effective method of preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancy.
  • Abstinence can be practiced at any time in one’s life.
  • Abstinence may encourage people to build relationships in other ways.
  • Abstinence helps teens gain a new value and respect for marriage.

With all the dangers out in the world today, we want to offer our teens the best options that will secure them a healthy future. This also comes with a better understanding of the other topics that support the message of abstinence. Next week we will go over the supporting topics and why they are important to the message of abstinence.

We’re Changing Our Name

Posted on by Tori

Wait For Your Mate has a new name!

What is it?  We are now called Amplify Youth Development.

Why the change? We’ve known for a long time that the education we provide teens extends beyond the narrow message of abstinence-until-marriage. We also teach teens about making choices, avoiding peer pressure, creating healthy friendships and relationships, and setting goals for their future. An abstinent lifestyle plays into all these areas (i.e. teens who choose abstinence generally experience more success than teens that do not). Let us be clear: Our message that abstinence until marriage is the safest and healthiest choice for a teen will remain strong. But we had a desire to flesh out that vision and add more to the program. It got bigger. And suddenly, our old name was too small.

Why Amplify? That’s simple. If you can picture a sound wave emanating off a stereo speaker, or a ripple of water extending out from a splash in a pond, the word “amplify” holds the idea of growth. Our desire, when we work with teens, is to create a ripple effect – an amplifying effect – in their lives. We want to present them with a challenge towards healthy living and a healthy future. And then we want them to take that message and share it with their peers – extending their influence out further. We want our teens to dream bigger dreams and have high hopes and expectations. We want them to amplify their lives.

How do we get more information? We’re creating a new website for teens and parents. Once it’s up, when you visit this site, you should be redirected.

Questions? Contact us at info@mylifeamplified.com

Be a Voice for Abstinence Education

Posted on by Tori

Parents,

 Just a quick note today. Many times we get comments from parents about how much they value our program. They wonder what they can do to encourage or help our organization. NOW is a very important time to make your voice heard!

If your experience with our program has been strengthening and encouraging to you and your teenager, or if you are grateful we have a voice in the schools, please consider letting your representative know and especially our Governor—Pat Quinn. You can Contact the Governor at: 207 Statehouse, Springfield, IL, 62706, phone: 217-782-6830; Chicago, 312-814-2121 or e-mail governor@state.il.us.

We recommend calling first, and then following up with a phone call. Brief is good – let them know how you appreciate the abstinence education movement in DuPage County (and in the US).

And again, parents, thank you for all your support of the Wait For Your Mate Program!

Too Young?

Posted on by Tori

One question we come up against during our parent presentations is, “How young is too young to start talking with your kid about sex and sexuality?” The answer? As long as they’re asking, they’re never too young. The trick, of course, is to be age appropriate.

 Why do I bring this up? Well, I found this article today (another shocker), and despite the fact that it was full of the kind of info we usually post on our blog, it caught my attention because of a book it references: Too Sexy, Too Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids.

I read an excerpt today and came across two interesting anecdotes. The first, of a mother reassuring her 7 year old daughter who was feeling insecure about her body image, and the second of a teacher, probing a kindergarten boy as to why he had drawn a rather sensual picture of a woman.

I’m not sure what conclusions the author will come to, but I think I want to read it. Take a look at it yourself on Amazon. Let us know what you think.

Sexting

Posted on by Tori

Definition: Much like cybersex, but over a cell phone. Sending nude or sexual photos via text-messaging.

 Don’t believe it? Do. I had never heard of it until today, when I found the term on two separate websites (www.onteenstoday.com, and www.cpyu.org). CPYU linked up to a truly shocking article in the Hartford Advocate. Read it here* (and be prepared). (NOTE: the original link is now gone, but here is a new article on the topic.)

Another article I read today cited that on average, kids are sending 50-70 text messages per day.

Now, obviously, not all your children’s text messages will be inappropriate. Many kids probably know that sexting isn’t all that smart of an idea (note Sarah’s comment in the article). And knowing this doesn’t mean that you should throw your kids’ cell phones in the trash.

But parents, it’s a good idea to talk to your kids about sexting, and the instantaneous consequences that result. Check their phones every once in a while to see what’s in them. You have the right to invade their privacy just a little bit.  It’s for their own good.

*Please note that the article is used purely as reference and does not reflect the opinions of W4YM.

Baby Mama

Posted on by Tori

(The following post has been adapted from a blog I like to visit: http://learningmylines.blogspot.com/.  Feel free to check it out.)

I was visiting a favorite blog today and (aside from being reminded of those, “What’s Wrong With This Picture?” games I used to play as a kid) found out that Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby and has become a new mom. She’s pictured on the front of OK! magazine, a glowing picture of health and happiness.  See?

 Now, I have nothing against this girl. Honestly. However, I don’t know about you, parents, but this image bothers me. I confess I haven’t read the article, but look at the headline! How are we supposed to teach teens abstinence when this is what they see?

 I encourage you to show this magazine to your teens and dialogue with them about the message it’s sending. What’s positive about this situation? (There are positive aspects to this story, certainly.) What’s negative? What do your teens think about what they see? What is communicated as right or wrong about this situation? How does Jamie Lynn’s experience line up with the experiences they’ve known?

If a good conversation results, try talking like this more often with your teen. It will be good for you both, and may help them swim against the cultural tide.

Press Release from NAEA

Posted on by Tori

Statement of Valerie Huber, Executive Director, National Abstinence Education Association (NAEA) on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) study “Prevalence of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) and Bacterial Vaginosis among Female Adolescents in the United States” which shows 3.2 million teen girls are infected with an STI (March 11, 2008):

“For too many years, schools and communities have made reducing teen pregnancy the goal of sex education classes. Teens are erroneously taught that a condom makes sex safe. When we learn that one in four teen girls is infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD), it becomes clear that the contraception-based approach taught in 75% of U.S. schools is failing young people. The CDC study shows that the sexual health of teens should be paramount. The risk-avoidance message of abstinence education should be the top public health priority in response to this new information.

Abstinence education is an holistic approach to providing youth the skills to make the best health decisions concerning sexuality. A number of credible studies prove that teaching a wide-range of character building, decision-making skills, while also offering students medically accurate information on STDs and contraception, delays the onset of sexual activity in teens, and reduces risky behavior in teens already having sex.

Teens deserve to know that condoms do not provide complete protection from STDs. Parents and community leaders need to use the information from the CDC to begin an honest conversation with young people about the dangers of casual sex, and Congress must continue investing in abstinence education programs.”

Too Much Too Soon?

Posted on by Tori

Recently, I was on a cruise to the Bahamas. On the third day of the cruise I decided to go to the bow of the ship for some peace and quiet. After I found a spot, I nodded off for about five minutes, only to be awakened by the conversation of three women who had placed their lounge chairs next to mine.

Because they were so loud, I was so comfortable, and they seemed not to mind, I sat there and listened to their conversation. The conversation was about one of the women’s teenage daughter and her boyfriend (obviously high school students). However, it was far from what I expected. The mom was upset because she felt her daughter’s friends were jealous of her daughter’s relationship with her boyfriend. “I told her they’re just jealous and you should not let them ruin your relationship. Ryan’s a great kid and you two are great together.” Continue reading Too Much Too Soon?