Once in a while I have to get over my reticence to be forthright in discussing risks teens face with you, their parents. I have no problem warning teens about the risks of oral sex, but don’t we parents hate to even think such things might be going on in the social circles our teens frequent? And yet…teens are doing it because they think it’s a safe option. Not only does oral seem to function as a “gateway” activity which leads to vaginal sex, it also carries risks of its own. This article by CBS points out that an STD passed on by oral sex is now the cause of the majority of cases of oral, head and neck cancers. It’s Human Papillomavirus. The article suggests getting vaccinated, but doesn’t mention that the vaccine only protects against the 4 strains of HPV that are responsible for 70% of the cases of either genital warts, or cervical and oral/head/neck cancers. A better idea? Share the article with your teen, and encourage them to choose abstinence if they want to be healthy and happy.
Depression in Teens
In doing a parent presentation this week, I was reminded that sexually active teens are significantly more likely to be depressed, and more likely to attempt (and commit) suicide compared to their abstinent peers. And it wasn’t attributable to teen pregnancy, but rather a combination of factors, with relational issues playing a role.
So what makes a teen feel so desperate? One article said that “Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they did it because they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts or feelings….they didn’t want to die as much as they wanted to escape from what was going on. And at that particular moment dying seemed like the only way out.” One less “straw” to break the camel’s back, or even one fortuitous interruption, and the impulse may pass, and a life may be saved.
So what are the warning signs that we should look for? And then, what can we as parents do? I am not an expert in such matters, but there are great resources out there. The article mentioned above also lists warning signs, gives phone numbers for suicide hotlines, and includes other helpful information. Cut and past this address in your internet browser to find out more: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/feeling_sad/suicide.html#
A Dangerous Game
Leave to it teens to find one more way to hurt themselves! Whether it’s an adrenaline rush, the pressure of a dare, or simply acting before they think, teens are notorious for putting themselves and others at risk. The latest is a twist on the childhood game of Cops and Robbers, called “Fugitive.” It involves cars, speed, and hopping in and out of moving vehicles. Unfortunately, it has landed teens in the hospital. ABC news has an informative report where you can read more about it (and even watch a link of teens playing Fugitive).
Internet Use: How much is too much?
As someone with a love of the printed book, I often lament this generation’s lack of interest in thoughtful reading. Indeed, many of us seem to have traded a bookmark for a mouse. Knowledge of world events, politics, religion, you name it, seems to be lacking in the mental repository of teens today. But it appears that may not be the only effect of the internet on young people. A recent study is one of several connecting heavy internet use with the development of depression in youth. How much it too much? I leave that up to you as a parent to decide. The study found that at 5 hours or more per day, there was a significant effect, although the authors were not able to say that internet use itself caused depression. In fact, there was some speculation that it could be a lack of sleep among those who spend so much of their free time on the internet.
When we discovered that our then high schooler was Instant Messaging (today, it would probably be texting) into the wee hours of the morning with friends, we pondered what we could do. We did not allow a computer in the bedroom, but this child was going down to the family room late at night when we were asleep. We weren’t fond of the idea of policing the house late at night when we’d rather be sleeping, so we found a fairly simple solution. Our house has wireless internet, and we put the internet router, which is in our bedroom, on a simple timer! Then we informed our children that homework better be done by 11:00, because that’s when the internet went off for the night.
If you are troubled by the amount of time your teen spends online, whether on social network sites, gaming, or even watching TV reruns, you may have to come up with a creative solution like we did. But after all these years as a parent, I believe that you can figure out a way to channel your child’s time into a healthy range of broader pursuits. Let’s prove that we parents are smarter than they think!
Growing up too fast…physically
Have you been wondering what’s going on with girls…why they are growing up so fast? It turns out that what most people have been observing with some unease is no myth: the early onset of puberty for girls is indeed accelerating. A study published this month in the journal Pediatrics reported that more girls are now reaching puberty (indicated by breast development, not menstruation) as early as 7 years old. About 23% of black girls, 15% of hispanic girls, and 10% of white girls begin puberty by age 7. Early puberty appears to be connected with obesity, as well as with a diet high in meat and junk food.
Why is this a problem? According to lead research, Dr. Frank Biro, “girls who develop earlier may be more likely to get breast cancer and engage in risky behavior like sex than girls who go through puberty later. They also are more prone to depression.” He adds that “For the 11-year old that looks like she’s 15 or 16, adults are going to interact with her like she’s 15 or 16, but so are her peers.” But, he points out, “It doesn’t mean that they’re psychologically or socially more mature.”
As the school year begins, and there is less opportunity for exercise, we might want to add family walks, or sports, to our list of things to do to keep our kids healthy. The busyness of the school year makes it hard to prepare healthy snacks and meals, but a little more forethought as we scan the shelves at the grocery store might be in order. This study just gives us one more reason why Americans need to improve our families’ eating and exercise habits.
Teenage sexual health, not so healthy…
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By Steven Reinberg
HealthDay Reporter
MONDAY, Nov. 23 (HealthDay News) — As many as one in four U.S. teenage girls have had a sexually transmitted disease (STD), many were infected soon after their first sexual encounter, a new government report shows.
“Sexual health is an important part of the overall health and well-being of teenagers, for too long, we as a nation have been far too squeamish about sexual health issues for teens, but we owe it to our kids to get over it.” Dr. Sami L. Gottlieb
A friend of mine passed this article along and I thought I would share it as well. It’s interesting to see that as big of a problem this is that they suggest some band-aids to the issue(vaccines or comprehensive sex ad.). Why not just suggest more education on abstinence? To read more of the article written click the link below.
http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2009/11/23/one-in-four-teen-girls-have-stds.html
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The War on Abstinence
This article offers an interesting perspective on the abstinence education debate.
If you haven’t already, visit Parents For Truth too and watch their video about sexuality education for your kids.
Friends with benefits for whom?
An astute parent will already be familiar with the term “friend with benefits.” Being friends with benefits means sharing either a short- or long-term “agreement” to be physically intimate but to withhold any deeper social or emotional connection or commitment. The tamest version would be a “cuddle buddy”: that person you go to when you’re in the mood for affection, but you don’t want to have to go on a date with them later that weekend. You smile, you spoon, everyone goes home happy.
A friend with benefits can also be someone (a warm body) used for physical pleasure or sexual release – by mutual agreement, mind you – but with the additional agreement that, “We’re just friends. We don’t go on dates, we’re not exclusive. We are friends who are there to do favors for each other, the way friends do, but I wouldn’t tell you any more about my hopes and dreams than I would the guy I study with in homeroom.”
Sound weird? Or does it does it sound ideal? Sexual release is pleasant, and if we can just agree on its terms, why not both enjoy it? You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.
If you can’t spot the major pitfalls yourself, let me just point out that “in a study of 6,500 sexually active adolescents, sexually active teenage girls were more than three times more likely to be depressed, and nearly three times as likely to have had a suicide attempt, than girls who were not sexually active.”*
Sex won’t hold it together…
As a parent, it is important that you dispell many of the myths that your child could believe about sex and relationships. Here’s a fact for you to discuss with your teen:
Eight out of ten first time teen sexual relationships last six months or less, and one quarter are only one-time occurances. That is according to surveys done by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Sadly, sex does not increase the commitment in a relationship and “taking a relationship to the next level” usually means taking it one step closer to a break-up. Make sure your teen knows that sex won’t hold a relationship together.
Abstinence education works!
“The National Abstinence Education Association (NAEA) praises the Virginia Department of Health for the success of its Virginia Abstinence Education Initiative (VAEI). Research shows abstinence programs in Virginia are delaying the onset of sex in teens by nearly 50-percent.” (from an NAEA press release November 16, 2007)
You can view an abstract of the complete article that will be published in the January/February 2008 issue of the American Journal of Health Behavior.