Depression – Teen Decision

Repost: Raising Expectations

Posted on October 1, 2014 by Tori

When it comes to sexual choices, do you know what our kids need the most from us as parents? t’s not our friendship. It’s our confidence that they can say “No” to sex when confronted with hormones, peer pressure, and the desire for a relationship. Many voices in our culture say, “They’re going to do it anyway, so let’s help them protect themselves.” But if we give them condoms or get them a prescription for the pill, are we really protecting them? Let’s consider some sobering facts:

The 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, supplemented by data from other sources, showed that 48% of women with an unintended pregnancy said they were using birth control during the month they got pregnant.
Some of the most common STDs (HPV, genital herpes, trichomoniasis, and syphilis) are contracted through skin to skin contact or through contact with an infected area. Condoms do not cover the entire genital area and are therefore much less effective in preventing the transmission of these diseases than they are in preventing other less common STDs.
No condom or pill can protect the hearts of our children. Sexually active teens are more likely to commit suicide, be depressed, struggle in school, and abuse drugs and alcohol.

The American Medical Association reported on a recent study that showed that children whose parents had higher expectations for them had higher school achievement and exhibited less risk-taking behavior. Also, children whose parents disapproved of early sexual activity postponed sexual intercourse. So, because we love them, we need to communicate that we expect them to make the healthiest, safest choice…to say “No” to sexual experimentation, and “Yes” to the future they dream of.

Teens Who are a Suicide Risk, Even with Treatment

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Tori

A PBS interview discussing teens who are depressed and at risk for attempting suicide revealed that, according to a large, recent study, “More than half of the young people who planned, thought of, or attempted to kill themselves had received at least some treatment.” This is troublesome, when you consider that suicide is the third leading cause of death among adolescents. The study discussed in the interview showed that even though symptoms of depression may improve under treatment, “even if we see these teenagers becoming better in terms of their symptoms of depression reducing, we need to continue to check in with them about whether they’re having thoughts, plans, or ideas around suicide.” Part of the interview discusses what caring adults may be able to do, acknowledging that “teachers and parents, are often very uncomfortable with this idea of speaking with them about it….And there’s a myth in society that if you bring up the topic of suicide with teenagers, that they’re more likely to act on those impulses, when in fact we know the opposite is true, that parents, peers and teachers, when they bring up this notion with teenagers, it shows care and concern and it actually helps decrease some suicidal ideation [formation of suicidal thoughts and ideas].”

Teens who Self-Injure

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Tori

If you have any contact with teens, you will eventually meet or hear about someone who has engaged in “cutting.” Teens who harm their bodies are not suicidal, but are looking for a way to release painful emotions, according to an article on WebMD. The article helps parents recognize warning signs, and gives advice on how to help teens who self-injure, quoting experts from SAFE Alternatives (based at Linden Oaks Hospital, in Naperville, IL).

I learned a few interesting things from the article. Cutting is an accepted part of the “Goth” culture (but is not only done in that group), and is more common in girls than boys. Wendy Lader, PhD, also states that “Very often, kids who self-harm have an eating disorder. They may have a history of sexual, physical, or verbal abuse….Many are sensitive, perfectionists, overachievers. The self-injury begins as a defense against what’s going on in their family, in their lives. They have failed in one area of their lives, so this is a way to get control.” This could hit any family, however, says Lader, who points out that “many kids who self-injure are simply ‘regular kids’ going through the adolescent struggle for self-identity” Lader adds, “They’re experimenting.”

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Sleep-deprived Teens Engage in Risky Behaviors

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Tori

Now that school is back in swing, and your teen can’t stay buried under the covers until noon like he might have during the holiday break, is he getting enough sleep? A study of 12,000 teens by the Center for Disease Control found that 7o% of young people are not getting the sleep they need to face the challenges and temptations that come their way . Lack of sleep negatively affects the prefrontal cortex, which in teens is still developing; this is the part of the brain that helps in making good judgments. So teens who are sleep-deprived are not just at risk of performing more poorly in school, they are also more likely to engage in sexual activity and use cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. They were also more likely to report being depressed or suicidal. The takeaway is that they MUST get more sleep; it’s not just important to their performance in school, but in life. The ABC report on this study also gives some great suggestions on helping your kids get a good night’s sleep, bettering their chances of having a better life.

Your Child and the Pain of Rejection

Posted on December 11, 2011 by Tori

As parents, we will almost certainly watch our children experience the pain of social rejection, either by friends, or by a boyfriend or girlfriend. There are two pitfalls to watch out for as a parent. One is that we will internalize it, and empathize so deeply that we will have sleepless nights, or worse, interfere in the relationship (I hate to admit this, but my observation is that moms seem to struggle more with this). The other is that we will miss the pain that they are experiencing. I once missed an opportunity to support my child when her friend died, because I didn’t realize how close she and this girl had become. I regret that I wasn’t there for her more at the time. Or we might be tempted to dismiss or minimize the hurt. “Oh, there are other better guys out there for you.” “She didn’t really appreciate what a great guy you are anyway.” A fascinating study found that “feelings of social rejection activate regions of the brain that are involved in physical pain sensation….” In other words, emotional pain “hurts” like physical pain. The researchers also “point out that the findings affirm the wisdom of cultures around the world that use the same language—words like ‘hurt’ and ‘pain’—to describe the experience of both physical pain and social rejection.” The best thing we can do when our child is experiencing the intense pain of rejection is to lend a sympathetic ear. We need to show our love and support by listening and by understanding that the pain, even though we know it won’t last forever, is quite real to our son or daughter.

Depression in Teens

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Tori

In doing a parent presentation this week, I was reminded that sexually active teens are significantly more likely to be depressed, and more likely to attempt (and commit) suicide compared to their abstinent peers. And it wasn’t attributable to teen pregnancy, but rather a combination of factors, with relational issues playing a role.

So what makes a teen feel so desperate? One article said that “Most teens interviewed after making a suicide attempt say that they did it because they were trying to escape from a situation that seemed impossible to deal with or to get relief from really bad thoughts or feelings….they didn’t want to die as much as they wanted to escape from what was going on. And at that particular moment dying seemed like the only way out.” One less “straw” to break the camel’s back, or even one fortuitous interruption, and the impulse may pass, and a life may be saved.

So what are the warning signs that we should look for? And then, what can we as parents do? I am not an expert in such matters, but there are great resources out there. The article mentioned above also lists warning signs, gives phone numbers for suicide hotlines, and includes other helpful information. Cut and past this address in your internet browser to find out more: http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/feeling_sad/suicide.html#

Hooked

Posted on January 15, 2009 by Tori

Parents,

There’s an excellent resource out there, one that’s fairly new on the bookshelves. It’s a book called Hooked, written by Dr. Joe Mcilhaney and Dr. Freda Bush. It’s a study on how casual sex (i.e. the rampant “hook up” culture that exists today) affects teenagers and young adults.

These doctors study the brain’s activity, specifically in relation to what happens to people as they engage in sexual activity. The results are rather astounding.

It’s an easy read, something you should definitely check out. If you are curious to hear more, check out this article here that lists other books written along the same line.