As a follow up to last week’s blog, I hope you had some time to check out the web site Teen Spot and some of the posts that where on there, especially under the teen issues title. The thought that there are actually kids going here for advice is a little scary. Well, let’s face it …it’s real scary. I’m sure that there are a lot of other sites out there as well — some better, some worse. Either way these kids are dealing with a lot of complex issues in their lives and possibly have no one to turn to or nobody they feel comfortable enough with to talk about some of this stuff. By stuff, I mean sex. It’s a tough subject and can be real difficult to tackle. So first off, are we making ourselves approachable and/or accessible? If not, is the computer their only other option? Then the next question is, are we properly equipped to answer the questions they have and give the advice they need to hear without giving them another lecture?
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What do we really need to teach our teens?
I was just introduced to the website www.teenspot.com. After viewing the homepage, it seemed pretty inviting to a teen…maybe even an adult. The website appears to want to inform our kids about all the latest stuff that’s going on. Then I scrolled down the page and found a section entitled “Teen Issues.” After looking at some of the posts under “Teen Issues” I started to wonder: who is really posting some of this stuff? Are these really teen issues? Should these even be teen issues? Most importantly, are these your teen’s issues?
We’re Changing Our Name
Wait For Your Mate has a new name!
What is it? We are now called Amplify Youth Development.
Why the change? We’ve known for a long time that the education we provide teens extends beyond the narrow message of abstinence-until-marriage. We also teach teens about making choices, avoiding peer pressure, creating healthy friendships and relationships, and setting goals for their future. An abstinent lifestyle plays into all these areas (i.e. teens who choose abstinence generally experience more success than teens that do not). Let us be clear: Our message that abstinence until marriage is the safest and healthiest choice for a teen will remain strong. But we had a desire to flesh out that vision and add more to the program. It got bigger. And suddenly, our old name was too small.
Why Amplify? That’s simple. If you can picture a sound wave emanating off a stereo speaker, or a ripple of water extending out from a splash in a pond, the word “amplify” holds the idea of growth. Our desire, when we work with teens, is to create a ripple effect – an amplifying effect – in their lives. We want to present them with a challenge towards healthy living and a healthy future. And then we want them to take that message and share it with their peers – extending their influence out further. We want our teens to dream bigger dreams and have high hopes and expectations. We want them to amplify their lives.
How do we get more information? We’re creating a new website for teens and parents. Once it’s up, when you visit this site, you should be redirected.
Questions? Contact us at info@mylifeamplified.com
Resources: Sexting Info, Dating Discussions, and the 3 in 10 Statistic
Today’s post is a potpourri of information for you, parents. I couldn’t decide which topic I wanted to focus on, so I decided I’d share three different things with you. All the documents are printable, so you can run them off and keep them handy!
W4YM uses the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy as a resource quite often. Although it is not considered “abstinence only”, it is an excellent source of information about teen culture, pregnancy and STDs.
This week I noticed an article on sexting that has plenty of interesting statistics for parents. Are you wondering how prevalent sexting really is amongst our teens? Check it out.
Additionally, the National Campaign had scripts for parents who want to talk to their teens about relationships and dating. When reading through this, I thought some of the wording was a bit cliche, but it does set a framework for how you can start and continue a conversation. If you don’t like the wording, or think it may cause some eye-rolling, keep the concept but substitute some of your own words.
Finally, during our parent workshops, we inform parents that current statistics show that roughly 3 in 10 teen girls will become pregnant by the end of high school. A startling statistic, no? How do they figure it out? Read it here: http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/FactSheet_3in10_Apr2008.pdf
What do you know about Hepatitis?
Today is World Hepatitis Day – a day dedicated to raising awareness and educating people about the three types of Viral Hepatitis (A, B, and C). Hepatitis is a global disease that in its later stages is the cause of cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer.
Visit the Center for Disease Control here to find out more information about the disease and how it is spread. For more specific information on STDs in general, visit the CDC’s “Sexually Transmitted Diseases” page here.
“Is Food the New Sex?”
I found a fascinating article on the roles of food and sex in Western Society. The author argues that over the past fifty years, the modern views of food and sex have undergone a role reversal. Where once sex was a definitive, moral issue, now food has taken its place.
Here’s an excerpt:
“(The) disciplines imposed historically on access to food and sex now raise a question that has not come up before, probably because it was not even possible to imagine it until the lifetimes of the people reading this: What happens when, for the first time in history — at least in theory, and at least in the advanced nations — adult human beings are more or less free to have all the sex and food they want?
This question opens the door to a real paradox. For given how closely connected the two appetites appear to be, it would be natural to expect that people would do the same kinds of things with both appetites — that they would pursue both with equal ardor when finally allowed to do so, for example, or with equal abandon for consequence; or conversely, with similar degrees of discipline in the consumption of each.
In fact, though, evidence from the advanced West suggests that nearly the opposite seems to be true. The answer appears to be that when many people are faced with these possibilities for the very first time, they end up doing very different things — things we might signal by shorthand as mindful eating, and mindless sex. This essay is both an exploration of that curious dynamic, and a speculation about what is driving it.”
Check out the full article here. What do you think?
Like Mother, Like Daughter
My first year of college, I did what most college kids do – I put on a few pounds. By no means did I gain the “Freshman 15” (although I probably had by sophomore year), but I was definitely a few pounds heavier. I remember coming home over Thanksgiving to spend time with my family. I was wearing a big baggy sweater and a pair of jeans. As we were preparing the meal for the day, my mother had me running to and fro, cleaning things, organizing the house, etc. At one point she asked me to reach to the top of a shelf to grab a serving bowl or some such thing. As I stretched, my sweater lifted and revealed my waistline. And from behind me I heard my mother say, “Wow, honey! Jeans a bit snug?” I was absolutely horrified. I felt wounded. Twelve years later, I still have not forgotten that moment.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my mother very much. She’s supportive, loving, easy-going. She is, most probably, the best friend I have in the world. But she has always had opinions about beauty and body type. Our family has a very specific build. From when I was very small, I was told I had the “family chin” and “family behind”. I figured these were unattractive things. I was also told that I would never have truly nice legs – they just didn’t “run in the family”. Imagine my surprise and my complete delight when, once we were happily married, my husband told me he loved my legs and my rear end.
I found an article today that I want to share with you. It interested me because in less than 2 months my husband and I will be joined by our first baby girl. I constantly wonder what it will be like to have a daughter. It also called to mind all of the above memories and comments I shared. This article talks about the necessity of mothers having a healthy body image, so that they can communicate that to their daughters. It also talks about letting your daughter be an individual, and what a struggle that can be. Check out the full text here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/30457264/
It Takes A Village
I’m sure you have heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” It’s a proverb I think we’ve lost sight of in our culture these days. American families are autonomous – we worry about our own kids, our own lives, but not so much about others’. Oh sure, we might discuss other people’s lives, but do we actually share in the responsibility of caring for their children? Or disciplining them? Usually not.
This article addresses that topic extremely well. Take a look, parents. It doesn’t directly relate to teenagers and sex, but it does talk a lot about setting boundaries and enforcing expectations.
I believe the article is encouraging. It has some great practical examples of boundary setting to use with younger children, and my hope is that the practices mentioned can be transferred over to working with our teens as they deal with more mature discipline or boundary issues.
Basically, parents, it is okay – even good – to pronounce the, “When you’re under my roof, my supervision…” law with your own teens, as well as with their friends. Perhaps if more parents were unafraid to do this, we’d recreate the “village” needed to care for our kids.
Syphilis On the Rise?
I came across an article today about an outbreak of syphilis in youth living in Oklahoma. 13 cases of syphilis have been confirmed to be linked this year, 10 of which were discovered in the past month. In light of the fact that April is STD awareness month, I thought I would post it, along with a few thoughts. Take a look at it here.
Oklahoma may seem far away, but it caused me to pause and wonder if the same thing could happen again, here in Dupage County. I say again because less than 5 years ago, an STD outbreak happened at a local school. Within days, over 8 cases of the same STD were diagnosed in a group of high school students. The cause then was the same as the cause listed in this article – a sex game played at a party.
Parents, while we can be certain that not all our teenagers are spending their time at parties in which sex games are played (I know I never did, and I can think of several teens I know now that avoid that scene), it can make us stop and think: What can we do to protect our kids?
A simple answer – be the house that hosts the parties. Be a welcoming place. If you are worried about the supervision in other homes, be the one willing to have the teens over, hanging out in your basement. Greet them at the door when they come in. Then, instead of shutting the door on them and trying to shut out the noise, check on them once in a while. Go downstairs with a plate of snacks or a carton of soda. Wander down to drop something off in the basement or ask your own son or daughter a question. The occasional and unexpected disruption will keep the teens on their toes.
Explain to him or her that you want to keep tabs on things because you are responsible for a bunch of teens that aren’t your own. You want to be sure they are safe, healthy, and behaving responsibly, because you don’t want any complaints from their parents. A teen who is living responsibly should understand your concern. A teen who raises objections might need more direction. If he or she objects and says they don’t want parties in the house, ask them why they’d rather be at a friend’s home. And then discuss what sort of rules and expectations can be made to ensure they are behaving responsibly.
Click on this link to find out more information about syphilis. http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/STDFact-Syphilis.htm
April is STD Awareness Month
According to the Center for Disease Control, one in four Americans has an STD. April is STD awareness month, an annual event meant to raise people’s consciousness of the impact of this epidemic on our country.
Visit this link for more information on how to avoid, identify, and handle STDs. http://www.cdcnpin.org/stdawareness/sam.htm