Tori – Page 12 – Teen Decision

Study Drug Use More Common Than We Think

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Tori

Are you SURE your child has never used study drugs? Ever? If your answer is 100% sure, then you are pretty much like other parents. Only 1% of those parents whose child has not been prescribed medication for ADHD believe their child has ever used a prescription amphetamine or other stimulant to get an “edge” while studying or taking tests.

The truth is that quite a bit more teens actually have used these so-called “study drugs.” According to Psychcentral.com, a University of Michigan national poll showed that “10 percent of high school sophomores and 12 percent of high school seniors say they have used an amphetamine or other stimulant medication not prescribed by their doctor.” But, the article says, “only 27 percent of parents polled said they have talked to their teens about using study drugs. Black parents were more likely to have discussed this issue with their teens (41 percent), compared with white (27 percent) or Hispanic (17 percent) parents.” Knowing that these are powerful drugs that can be harmful to anyone, parents should be warning teens (and college students) not to share their ADHD drugs with others, or buy them from those who have these prescription drugs.

PG Rated Nudity?

Posted on August 3, 2013 by Tori

I was one of those strict parents that blocked MTV on our home’s cable rather than have my girls inundated with what I considered too much raunchy and course behavior. Those weren’t our family values. I also used to think if I just didn’t have R movies on that was a good rule of thumb, but quickly realized I had to read the reviews even for PG-13 movies. At least we can trust a PG rating, right? Now, the Parents Television Council reveals that TV shows with pixilated and blurred nudity (which doesn’t leave much to the imagination) are increasingly being rated as acceptable for children, with 70% of these shows being TV-PG rated. Says PTC President Tim Winter, “Our findings are also alarming because if this kind of nudity continues to increase – as we believe it will – and the FCC’s proposal to essentially stop enforcing the broadcast indecency law goes into effect, then it’s certain that the networks will continue to push the limits of decency even further.”

Boys and Eating Disorders

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Tori

We’ve heard about boys turning to steroids to enhance their sports performance, or their muscular looks, but did you know that more boys use diet pills, powders or liquids than steroids? The LA Times wrote about the increasing percentage of guys who now struggle with eating disorders, including in particular “purging” behavior like vomiting and using laxatives. This seems to be an increasing problem in other areas as well, including Chicago, according to the article. Why? Experts point to the push in our society for men to attain to an athletic ideal…a lean, muscular body.

What might the signs of eating disorders in men be? Here is a CBS video (from 2008 but just as relevant today) discussing what we know about men and eating disorders if you’d like to find out more.

Top Teen Shows to Know About

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Tori

I spent almost two hours trying to figure out what the top shows are that teens are watching….without success. If school weren’t out, I could have asked them themselves!

After seeing certain shows pop up a lot, I went to Commonsense Media’s website to read descriptions of the shows. I can recommend the site for that purpose, but honestly I didn’t agree with their age recommendations for shows. In my book, certain shows should not be allowed to embed their values in ANY young person’s mind. I wouldn’t watch some of them as an adult!

Here are 3 shows teens seem to think are hot…and a quote from the website:

Pretty Little Liars – “[Teens] engage in lots of naughty behavior like theft, defying parents’ rules, breaking and entering, and general cattiness.” “Teen sexuality — including a main character’s homosexuality and a teen’s love affair with her high-school teacher — makes for some intense physical encounters that stop just before the act itself (although it’s referenced later).”

Awkward – “Parents need to know that steamy simulated sex, innuendo, euphemisms (“riding his joystick,” for example), body-related slang (“hooters,” “cooch,” and “p—y”), and strong language (“s–t” and “f–k” are censored; “ass,” “bitch,” and “damn” are audible) are common fare….” “Teens engage in casual physical encounters (expect to see everything but full-on genital nudity).” “…snarky meanness from social divas.”

Teen Wolf – “violence is it’s main concern” and “Teen relationships yield mostly mild physical contact.”

Parents…what are YOUR teens watching? I’d love to see comments here on the shows that make you uncomfortable, and how you handle that in your home. Do you ban any shows? Channels? Discuss shows that you watch together? Make sure the only TVs are in the family room, rather than your teen’s bedroom? You might use Commonsense Media’s search box to search the shows that you know are on at your house. Become informed, Mom and Dad. And if necessary, put your foot down if you just really don’t want your teen getting their values from certain shows,

Teens Who Don’t Have Sex Say It’s Because…

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Tori

“Among those teens who haven’t had sex, the primary reason they give for…well…not doing it is that having sex at this point in their lives is against their religion or morals, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.” This quote comes from a Washington Times op ed by Sarah Brown from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, in which she discusses the difference that faith may have on the sexual choices of teens today. She continues, “Research makes clear that religion, faith, and a strong moral sense play vital roles in protecting teens from too-early sexual activity and teen pregnancy. In particular, being connected to a religious community has been linked with a decreased risk for teen pregnancy. Moreover, a survey we released this week suggests that the majority of Americans want more from religious groups rather than less. Some 52 percent of adults and 57 percent of teens think religious leaders and groups should be doing more to help prevent teen pregnancy.”

This leads me to a suggestion. If any of you, among my readers, belong to a faith community, Amplify Development offers our program to you and you teens. We also do parent workshops. Although the vast majority of our speaking engagements are in a secular forum–public schools–our message has broad appeal to teens in various settings. From our website amplifyyouthdevelopment.com: “We work with both public and private institutions, ensuring that we teach our curricula in a manner consistent with the values of each of our partner organizations. Our program is based on current research about sexual health, bonding, and relationship formation. We are careful to teach in a sensitive manner that allows for multiple points of view while communicating the core message that abstinence from sexual activity outside of marriage is the safest and healthiest choice.” If you want to bring our program to your youth group or community group, give Andrea Nelson a call at 630-493-1523.

Help Your Anxious Teen

Posted on June 29, 2013 by Tori

I can vividly remember the day I had a terrible stomachache at school…and an upcoming test. I was in so much pain, I called my mom to come take me home. The moment I got in the car, the stomach pain started to go away, and was gone in minutes. I felt guilty…but I really HAD been sick. No doubt, it was anxiety that tied my stomach in knots. On occasion, I can still can be prone to these kinds of physical manifestations of emotional distress.

Sometimes teens express that they are anxious and worried, and sometimes they don’t recognize the signs. I found a great article that walks parents through how to talk to their teens about anxiety, including another page on how to recognize the signs and help your child deal with it.

When Showing Less is More

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Tori

What an interesting concept: Power in modesty! Former Power Ranger actress, Jessica Rey, has a YouTube video discussing a variety of things that have to do with modesty, such as
the history of what we consider showing “too much” and (the most interesting part) research on the impact on the male brain of seeing scantily clad women.

A CNN report on the research revealing what happens when too much is revealed, shows that a part of a man’s brain lights up that has to do with “handling tools and the intention to perform actions,” rather than the part of the brain “associated with analyzing another person’s thoughts, feelings and intentions.” It seems that women who show too much can become, in the male brain (not consciously, mind you), an object, rather than a person. Given that women can be, in fact, objectified when they dress immodestly, and are not valued for who they are (or even seen as a person), doesn’t it make sense that women would have MORE power if dressed modestly? Jessica believes so, and even includes a few slides of her modest, yet fashionable, swimsuit line in her quest to bring vibrant, healthy modesty back into our culture. This video is entertaining, and would prompt a great family conversation about our society, how standards of modesty have changed, and if it matters.

Who is Protecting Our Children?

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Tori

Last month I wrote about Plan B (birth control ) being available to teens “as young as 15.” That’s changed. A district judge ruled that the FDA must comply with a court ruling to “make Plan B One-Step contraceptive pills available to women and girls of any age without a prescription.” The Obama administration had opposed children having access to Plan B over the counter, but on June 10 abandoned its opposition according to a Washington Post article.

What is Plan B? Someone who is concerned about the possibility of pregnancy takes Plan B (one or two pills, depending on the formula) within 72 hours of intercourse. These pills contain high doses of a synthetic version of progestin, a steroid hormone. The idea is to prevent ovulation, or prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg, or if fertilization has happened, to prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the womb. This last result is the one that is controversial for those who believe life begins at fertilization. It is controversial to a LOT of people that young children be given access over the counter to these hormones!

The thought that our young children could be convinced that “nothing will happen” and that a pill can be obtained to (supposedly) wipe away the consequences of a sexual act is more than disturbing to me. In the 10 years I’ve been teaching in schools, I’ve seen the debut of sexual activity begin at younger and younger ages. Indeed, sexual predators, molesters, or even just “players” use the excuse that “nothing will happen” (because we’ll “use a condom” or “take pills”) to pressure and persuade. Early sexual activity simply puts children at risk of emotional, social, and physical consequences.

Young children (OUR children) obtaining powerful hormones without our knowledge seems to me to be a recipe for great hurt.

I’m Free to Do What I WANT! You can’t stop me.

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Tori

It’s true. If a teen wants to do something foolish or dangerous, we can’t physically tie them down. But we don’t have to participate. Teens need to believe that you take lying and dishonesty, and breaking moral boundaries (whatever those are in your family), VERY seriously. One father I know would not allow his 15-year-old daughter to stay overnight with her boyfriend, have sex openly, and still be a fully included part of the family. He, with the support of his wife, and with great sorrow, said she had a choice. He couldn’t stop her from going to live with her boyfriend as she threatened (why his mother unaccountably allowed this is a mystery to me). But if she did, she couldn’t come home when she felt like it and enjoy all the benefits of full harmony, support, and participation in family life. He wouldn’t support or condone her choice. Because he loved her.

This young lady was free to foolishly rebel, but not free to enjoy the day-to-day closeness of her loving family. It was the approaching holidays and missing her family that woke her up to the consequences of her “free” choice. She came home, broke it off with her boyfriend, and made a complete change in her life. Four years down the road, the family has complete trust in this once wayward, rebellious daughter.

This “tough love” approach won’t always bring results like this, but the alternative to putting down our foot can be chaos in the home, damage to other siblings, and a child who learns that boundaries can be crossed at will. For more on the tough love option, read the article (CLICK HERE) “What Tough Love Is, and What It Isn’t.”

Author: Tori