Brains & Beauty

Posted on by Tori

Every week when I set out to post for our parents, I find tons of pertinent information I could share. Every week I have to decide how to narrow it down. It’s hard sometimes. Do I share the positive, or the negative?

 This week I couldn’t make up my mind. So, I’m sharing information from two different sites.

 1. “Brains”: For parents who dearly want to encourage their kids away from the same mistakes they made as teens, but are unsure how how much to share, check out Teen Shift: Episode 16 here. Scroll down a bit and listen to the podcast on how to best answer the question, “What did you do when you were my age?” (All you have to do is click the Play arrow.) Andrew Robinson gives some great advice to parents and teachers. Be encouraged!

2. “Beauty”: For parents with teen daughters, check out the article The Skinny On 90210 here. Whether you allow your teen daughter to watch the show or not, it’s a good article revealing how body image (and clothing styles & perceptions of modesty) has changed over the past 15-20 years. Be sure to watch the video interview of teens’ thoughts on body image. It will encourage you to tell your daughter she’s beautiful!

Fight, Jane. Fight.

Posted on by Tori

I found a great article today from the Fuller Youth Institute that talks about teenage girls and body image. Here’s an excerpt:

“‘See Jane Try to Be More Sexy

New Research

The Damage Done. Those of us who care about girls have intuitively sensed that the pressure to be “sexy” damages the way they view themselves and others. A 2007 report by the American Psychological Association (APA) spells out the destruction more explicitly. Whether it’s a five year-old girl walking through a shopping mall in a short T-shirt that says “Juicy”, or a magazine article that virtually promises teenage girls that losing 10 pounds will get them the boyfriend…'”

The article talks directly to parents about what we can do to help “Jane” fight back against these pressures. Check out the complete article here.

Baby Mama

Posted on by Tori

(The following post has been adapted from a blog I like to visit: http://learningmylines.blogspot.com/.  Feel free to check it out.)

I was visiting a favorite blog today and (aside from being reminded of those, “What’s Wrong With This Picture?” games I used to play as a kid) found out that Jamie Lynn Spears had her baby and has become a new mom. She’s pictured on the front of OK! magazine, a glowing picture of health and happiness.  See?

 Now, I have nothing against this girl. Honestly. However, I don’t know about you, parents, but this image bothers me. I confess I haven’t read the article, but look at the headline! How are we supposed to teach teens abstinence when this is what they see?

 I encourage you to show this magazine to your teens and dialogue with them about the message it’s sending. What’s positive about this situation? (There are positive aspects to this story, certainly.) What’s negative? What do your teens think about what they see? What is communicated as right or wrong about this situation? How does Jamie Lynn’s experience line up with the experiences they’ve known?

If a good conversation results, try talking like this more often with your teen. It will be good for you both, and may help them swim against the cultural tide.

Girls’ Sex Boundaries

Posted on by Tori

A great article appeared this week from Connect with Kids.

Points of interest from the article include the fact that teenage sexuality, according to some studies from the Center for Disease Control, has actually decreased, thanks in part to abstinence programs and positive messages about self-esteem.

The article also includes some tips for parents, so scroll all the way to the bottom!

Is your daughter beautiful?

Posted on by Tori

Last week, my extended family was together to celebrate Thanksgiving. Among the gathered relatives was my cousin’s daughter Kate, a precious four-year-old. At one point during the day, Kate pulled on her one-year-old cousin’s baby dress and pranced around the living room. You could see her relishing the attention she was getting from everyone!

Then one of the adults in the room started making fun of Kate. Lightly, of course, and not even in a way that Kate would necessarily recognize. But her mother didn’t miss a beat before she said, “Don’t you dare make fun of her. Tell her that she is beautiful now, or some boy will later.”

Kate’s mother went on to explain, “We make sure Kate’s dad tells her she’s beautiful so often, that when she is older, and some guy tries to woo her by telling her she’s pretty, she can say ‘Well that’s nothing new. My daddy tells me that all the time!'”

Kate is only 4. To some, it may sound a little early to already be worrying about boys and sex. But in just six years, Kate will be the age at which most children see porn for the first time. In eight years, Kate will be in middle school and will face challenges in our culture that I can only begin to imagine.

Teasing can be harmless. But ask yourself, have I told my daughter today that she is beautiful? And if you haven’t, who will? Kate may never know how conscientiously her parents tried to shape her into a healthy young woman, but I am confident that the effects of her parents’ diligence will help her long into adulthood.

…Still Leaving a Little for the Imagination?

Posted on by Tori

Do you remember the old saying “Leave a Little for the Imagination?” I do. This phrase, usually directed towards females, suggested that a person’s clothes should not be so revealing that someone else doesn’t have to wonder what’s beneath them. My questions are, “Is this saying still valid today? What should be revealed and what shouldn’t? How short is too short? How low is too low? What is appropriate and what is inappropriate to wear in public? Whose responsibility is it to monitor what our kids are wearing?”

Recently I was teaching at a middle school in our county. The teacher of the class informed me that one of the students was sent home because her skirt was too short. He said that when the young lady’s mother showed up, she had the same exact skirt on as her daughter…go figure (that, in and of itself, can be a whole seperate issue!) Continue reading …Still Leaving a Little for the Imagination?