Question:

“hey my name is -—- and i got your card from school, i have a question for you see i jest had a rely bad breakup type thing it’s really weird and i wanna know if there’s any way to stop me from going through this … pain?”

Response:

I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad breakup. It sounds like you are hurt and frustrated. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don’t. Pain from breakups typically comes from grief. We grieve because we have lost a relationship that we care about. Here is what the U.S. National Mental Health Information Center says: “Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is a natural part of life. Grief is a typical reaction to death, divorce, job loss, a move away from friends or family, or loss of good health due to illness. Every person who experiences a death or other loss must complete a four-step grieving process:

(1) Accept the loss;
(2) Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain of grief;
(3) Adjust to living in a world without the person or item lost; and
(4) Move on with life.

The grieving process is over only when a person completes the four steps.”

Personally, I have found it helpful to talk about my grief with trusted friends, or maybe my mom. Sometimes it means writing out my feelings in a letter (that I never end up sending) or a journal. Other times, it means doing things I enjoy, that make me feel good about myself.  For you, it could be sports, or drawing, or playing your guitar.  It’s especially helpful to spend time with friends. An important lesson that I have learned is that even when I feel like being alone because of my grief, it has usually helped more to open up to others. When you are kind to other people and you are looking for ways to be a friend to others, you are opening yourself up to them, and this has always helped me overcome my grief.

Again, I am so sorry that you are hurting right now. I hope this helps.

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