What They Don’t Know Will Hurt Them!

As an Abstinence Educator who speaks to over 10,000 students every year, it amazes me the kinds of comments I receive from students in response to the questions I ask. What I’ve found shocking are the idealistic views that students have about sex. During one of the sessions we ask students “What are the benefits of having sex before marriage versus after marriage?” I’m sure you’re not surprised that we get a lot of answers for the “before marriage” side. The most valid reasons that students use are “To bring a relationship closer together” or similarly “To strengthen a relationship.” Wow…

My question is, “Where are students getting these ideas that sex strengthens a relationship?” My concern is that students lack the necessary skills to develop a healthy relationship, and are now using sex as a “quick fix.”

That’s where parents come in. Think of all the individuals you know who have healthy marriages (yourself, parents, siblings, friends, etc.). If you were to ask them what has kept their marriage healthy all this time, would they say “sex?” Probably not! Parents, I encourage you to have this discussion about how sex does not make a relationship healthy. I refuse to believe that the majority of youth are having sex because of hormones and they “just can’t help it.” Youth are looking for something. They are looking for love, acceptance, relationship, and much more. Your role is to show them how to attain this…without sex. The question now is “How do we show them?” Leave your comments and let other parents know what you think and what has worked for you.