This isn’t new information, apparently, but it was new to me, and I thought it might be new to you. One of the dangers of a smartphone resides in its ability to track where you are at any time, AND to provide that information within pictures you you or your teen take and post. An informative news station video explains this, and cautions parents about taking pictures of their children as well…pictures that end up online and come with information about where your child lives (down to even the location of his or her bedroom) and hangs out. A website alerting people to the intrusion of privacy, “Icanstalkyou.com,” tells how to keep from geotagging photographs you take on your phone.
Instagram; the New Facebook for Teens
Just when we think we’ve figured out what our teens are doing online, along comes something new. The photo sharing app, Instagram, is now being used as an alternative (or in addition to) Facebook. In fact, it’s the top photo sharing site among teens 12-17. Because teens are commenting on the pictures, Instagram also functions much like Facebook.
As with any other social media, we parents need to be aware of what is being posted. It’s not OK for teens to have privacy rights here. You should be able to check out what they’re saying, and showing, from time to time, just so your daughter thinks twice before posing in her new hot bikini, for instance. An article in Chicagonow.com shares with parents what we need to know about Instagram, and includes a link to one parent’s experience becoming a “follower” of her daughter’s Instagram, and the VERY helpful rules she’s implemented in her house about the use of this site.
Sexual Pics Reposted
This article from TechCrunch reveals a phenomenon that isn’t all that surprising, although it is something that I am sure we all hoped wouldn’t happen to such an extent. Sexual pics, including those teens take of themselves, are reposted. Of course, that’s what we all feared would happen and was one of the reasons we told teens not to take such pictures in the first place…but was there any evidence that it was actually happening?
Now, the Internet Watch Foundation has given that evidence. Up to 88% of teens’ sexual pictures are reposted by “parasite websites,” even if the original picture was in a “safe” place. Teens may feel a false sense of security when they share an image via a social network that they think is secure, but once a digital image exists, in can be nearly impossible to erase entirely. So whether or not you have already discussed the dangers with your teen, talk to them again about protecting themselves by never taking sexual pictures in the first place. There is simply no safe way to take, store, or share such images!
And one more thing to keep in mind and discuss with your teen — why? Why take such pictures? The two main reasons that come to mind are peer pressure and the desire to be cool (as defined by a culture rife with pornography). So when you talk to your child, make sure they understand that no one, not even a boyfriend or girlfriend, should ask them to take sexual pictures. If someone asks them to do so, report it to an adult. And if they think it is cool, help them to understand that sexuality is not a tool to be used for fortune, fame or respect. That might be difficult in today’s age, but we must stop defining people by their sexuality and start holding up role models who exemplify something other than sexual appeal or prowess.
How Teens Hide Online Behavior and Parents Trust Too Much
A 2012 McAfee study showed that 70% of teens admit to hiding their online behavior from parents, compared to just 45% two years earlier. Meanwhile, almost 3/4 of parents (dare I say naive parents) say they trust their children not to access inappropriate content. With the consequences including emotional harm and dangerous and even illegal activities, it’s time we put the necessary effort into becoming tech savvy. So let’s allow the teens to tell us how they’re hiding what they’re doing (from McAfee.com):
- Clearing the browser history (53%)
- Close/minimize browser when parent walked in (46%)
- Hide or delete IMs or videos (34%)
- Lie or omit details about online activities (23%)
- Use a computer your parents don’t check (23%)
- Use an internet-enabled mobile device (21%)
- Use privacy settings to make certain content viewable only by friends (20%)
- Use private browsing modes (20%)
- Create private email address unknown to parents (15%)
- Create duplicate/fake social network profiles (9%)
Video Chat. Safe for Teens?
I can still remember being behind the times when one of my daughters began to communicate with a boy into the wee hours on the internet many years ago. I didn’t realize it was happening, and that quite a relationship had developed even before they had officially begun to date. He turned out to be a good guy, but I became much more saavy about technology after that.
The latest buzz I’m hearing from teens, is that they are increasingly using video chat with each other. A recent study showed that 37% of teens are using video chat of some kind, and 27% record and upload video. A PC Magazine online article written about this phenomenon can bring you up to speed so you are an informed parent. The article also shares some advice from ZoneAlarm [a security software vendor] that you might want to pass along to your discuss with your son or daughter: “First, any time you upload a video, mark it private and share the URL only with friends. Don’t attach too-personal information like your full name, address, or date of birth to videos. Always run up-to-date antivirus software. And avoid downloading alleged video software from unknown sites, as these can contain malware.”
Signs of Trouble in Facebook Posts
After I wrote about Facebook etiquette last week, a reader sent us a link to a great article that I just had to share. This article alerts us to “10 Scary Facebook Status Updates” that might indicate our child is in trouble, emotionally or socially. We know that “drama” could be our teen’s middle name at times, but there are some comments that we need to take seriously…and explore what is behind them.
Facebook Etiquette for Parents
I could have used the advice in this short article when navigating how to be a Facebook friend to my daughters. I’ve made a few mistakes mentioned there, like tagging my daughter in pictures, not realizing they then automatically appear in her profile. I also have had comments removed before…though I’m not entirely sure what my offense was. In my defense, I did wait for my daughter’s last boyfriend to friend ME, rather than friending him first. So parents, do you have the courage to find out what blunders you’ve already made, and how to keep in the loop by being a good Facebook friend?
Flash Mob Idea Co-opted by Young Criminals
Cultural phenomena can spring up quickly, and flash mobs are a case in point. Picking up in popularity in recent years, flash mobs are described on Wikipedia as a “group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and pointless act for a brief time, then disperse. The term flash mob is generally applied only to gatherings organized via telecommunications, social media, or viral emails.” Up until very recently, we would just consider this good, clean fun.
Unfortunately, what used to be an innocent form of entertainment for young people, has taken an ugly turn. Crime-by-flash-mob has hit Chicago and other urban centers, and could be coming to the suburbs. This article describes behavior that has given “flash mobs” a bad name this summer.
In reading the above-linked article, I was reminded of how important the social group is to our teens…and how influential. According to Scott Decker, a professor of criminology at Arizona State University, “Over 90 percent of crimes committed by young people are done so in a group.”
Whether its sexual activity, drinking, or criminal flash mobs, it’s still imperative to help our teens think through the consequences of getting caught up in something dangerous or criminal. It was sound advice when we heard it from our parents, and it’s still something our teens need to hear: “Don’t do something just because it seems like everybody else is doing it.”
Social Networking Site, Formspring, a Concern
Twice this past month I have had teens tell me about a new website they are using, called Formspring. In the first class where it came up, the teens basically told me that I wouldn’t want to go there (presumably since I am an abstinence speaker), because people put sexy pictures of themselves up for comment. Then, last week another student mentioned how people can comment anonymously on your pictures, or on your life, on your Formspring. Hmmm. This seems fraught with danger to me. Indeed, I did a little research, and found some more information for you to read in this article. The article points out that this six month old website “invites users age 13 and over to pose questions (or comments) to account-holders without identifying themselves. It also invites everything from unkind remarks to sexual harassment to cyber-bullying, critics say.”
So you Want to Be on Facebook…
I am now running into middle schoolers who want to Friend me on Facebook. I find myself wondering, “Is it safe for them?” We’ve all heard about predators trolling for young boys and girls to lure away for evil purposes. First of all, you have extensive rights as a parent if your child is under 13. To begin with, they are not supposed to have a Facebook account at all if they are under 13. BUT, if your child is 13 and older, your ability to get Facebook to act is quite limited. That said, Facebook does treat 13 to 18-year-olds differently than adults. One reassuring bit of information I found is that “Minors do not have public search listings created for them when they sign up for Facebook, meaning their accounts cannot be found on general search engines outside of Facebook.”
For the caring and involved parent (which all of you are), there’s a GREAT resource that includes information as well as ideas on how to talk to your kids about Facebook safety and privacy. Once you’re armed with the knowledge you’ll find on the site, have a sit-down with your son or daughter to talk about the responsibility that comes with the privilege of using social networking sites. Help them choose privacy settings, and, if they are too young, don’t be afraid to say, “not yet.”