Twilight Mania…An Opportunity to Talk

If you haven’t noticed, young girls (and sometimes their moms too) are caught up in Twilight mania. If you have a daughter, you may want to take the opportunity to discuss this movie and book series’ positive and negative messages about relationships.  Even if they haven’t seen it (or aren’t allowed to), they’ve surely heard discussions about it.  Here are some questions, and points to consider as you talk to your daughter (and even sons might be interested in why girls are so gaga about the Twilight series)…

Why are girls so crazy about Edward?

He’s perfect, beautiful, has superhuman powers, centers his whole life around Bella….but is this what you can expect from a real guy?

What is the attraction that Edward feels for Bella based on?

Her scent…i.e. a purely physical, intense attraction based on external qualities, not based on character.  This is the equivalent of the intense attraction that we call “infatuation” and that is often mistaken for love.  It may end in real love, but more often not.

What is admirable about the way Edward treats Bella?

He is willing to sacrifice himself for her, thinks of her welfare first, protects her from danger, and exhibits self-control in that he wants to wait until marriage to have sex.

What is troubling about this relationship?

It’s focused entirely on one another (unhealthy obsession).  Their identity is wrapped up in the other person. The attraction is not based on character, sexual tension/attraction is intense in the books AND movies, protectiveness may be controlling (a key indicator in an abusive relationship) in a real-life guy.

What do you think a romantic relationship should be based on if it’s going to last?

Friendship, similar values, forgiving and learning to accept imperfections in the other person.  Support of individual growth and development, and independent, unique qualities, etc.